My mountain adventures are not as self-evident as it may often seem. Joining a high alpine course while you suffer from some kind of cold-hand syndrome, is not just cool and adventurous. It is quite a challenge and sometimes also quite stressful for me. But this Raynaud Sydrome won’t get me down! I still want to explore, learn new things and broaden my options in the mountains. This blog is a glimpse into my experience and how I continue to discover the mountains despite Raynaud Syndrome.
My registration for a high alpine course
Although I love to be surrounded by people, I’m a person that also loves to go out alone. The freedom to decide where I go, how long I go, how fast I go and when I’m having break makes me relaxed. That’s probably because I’m a person who loves to decide for myself. But that’s also because during every trip I do with other people, I have to adapt to the group and I get worried if my hands will stay warm. For many years I suffer daily from a syndrome in my hands that causes a strong reduced blood flow in the vessels and makes that I get extremely cold hands in expected and unexpected situation (Raynaud Syndrom). I have mild symptoms every day, but on the mountain this can lead to extreme complaints in more extreme situations. My mountain adventures are therefore not as self-evident as it may often seem.
After my first summer in Switzerland I knew that I wanted to improve my high alpine skills in order to feel safer and to learn about alpine sports. But that’s something I just have to do in a group and this year I decided to go for it. I found a high alpine Rock & Ice course at the Schweizer Alpen Club (SAC), and already in January I booked this 6 days course for the end of August in Wallis. During this course week I have struggled quite a lot with this Syndrome problem and that is why I decided to share not only the sunny side in this adventure, but also the challenging and sometimes stressful side.
Getting prepared
For a few months, I didn’t really think about the course but as August came closer, I started to get excited and also a bit insecure. I didn’t really know what to expect and I also got a bit worried if I could handle it. The fact that I had to adjust my speed to the group, do exercises while standing still and that the days would be long and heavy, no matter the weather conditions, made me insecure. I motivated myself by decided that this was the moment to buy gloves with heating and that I would just try and see how it would go. If I really couldn’t enjoy the days or if I had to come back, I would just do that.
A few weeks before the start we received a package with the program, the packing list and a study book with background information and the explanation of techniques that are useful along the way. For example to belay yourself or to save someone that fell in a glacier crevice. Because I couldn't even remember the most common knots from my last climbing training, I was sure it was going to be an instructive week.
The introduction and the guides
On Sunday morning I took the early train to Sierre from where I took the bus to Lac de Moiry. I had already been there once during a Alpine tour with friends, and it was nice to recognize that place. At Barrage de Moiry we all, 12 participants and 2 guides, gathered together. We got an introduction from our mountain guides, Stefan and Hans, and after that we started the first tour to the hut together. Only Martine was not able to join immediately, because she had forgotten her hiking shoes and had to buy new ones in the valley (oops..).
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In 2 hours and 15 minutes we arrived at Cabane de Moiry. An amazing beautiful place with a great view on the Glacier! For the rest of the week we were split up in two groups and we could decide whether we wanted to join Stefan’s or Hans’s group. Stefan was the type who told enthusiastic stories from the beginning and made everyone feel welcome. Hans was a bit quieter, more in the background and he seemed to observe everything well. My feeling said, I wanted to join Hans’s group and I have not regretted this choice. I felt safe all week and that is very important to me. Stefan is undoubtedly also a good mountain guide, but I just cannot say from my personal experience.
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The course
Right after arrival we started with an introduction, some exercises with the rope, practicing knots and we briefly explored the environment. Although I would have been fine with just hanging around in the hut after such a long day of travelling, I was doing well in the fresh mountain air. The 4 following days we stayed out on the rocks and glacier all day for exercises and tours.
Day 2: Exercises with ropes and alpine tour over the ridge (two people on the rope)
Day 3: Glacier tour and rescue exercises (how to rescue someone that felt in a crevasse?)
Day 4: Combined tour over the glacier and the ridge, with exciting climbs and an abseil route
Day 5: An other, shorter combined tour with extra time for glacier training exercises and climb techniques
Day 6: Some more training in climbing and abseil techniques before going down to Lac de Moiry again
Since I can write this blog, you know I came down safe at the end of the week. Actually we were also very lucky with the weather conditions. We hardly had any rain or snow and we saw a lot of sun. Unfortunately, also a lot of shadow and I realized that made me stressed. Already on the first day we started to practice with the ropes somewhere in the shadow. Mentally the positive thing was, that we were not far from the hut and I could tell myself that I always had the chance to go back. During this exercise, for me it’s just waiting for the moment that I get too cold. It is unbelievable hard to focus on the training and to really enjoy it. But I held on and I was happy as a little child as soon as we started our tour over the ridge. Yes, I could move, and catch a bit of sun! I felt 100 times more comfortable and confident when we were climbing and I remembered again why I came along.
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On the other days it was about the same, I was continuously focused on when and where we would stop for exercises or breaks, how can I avoid that my hands were getting cold and how could I catch as much sun as possible. Every day I had a few lighter Raynaud attacks but with the heating gloves, the physical activities and the sun burning, I could keep my hands warm enough and join every day.
The 4th day was my best experience: It was a long tour and therefore we had to keep moving. Knowing that already made me less stressed upfront. Walking over the glacier is like meditation. Off course, I have to concentrate on where I go and I have to keep the rope tight in case something happens, but furthermore I just enjoyed the silence and great surrounding.
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The climbing part felt like playing, I enjoy it to use all my muscles (as far as I have them ;)) to climb up. I could enjoy it since my hands were warm. Without warm hands I would not have been able to join since I would not have enough control to climb even an easy rock. Also here concentration is extremely important. Every misstep can be dangerous or even fatal if you have bad luck. I remembered one misstep at the beginning of a new section. My buddy and Hans were there to hold me and I immediately knew, I was not focused and blamed myself for that. These things don’t scare me but they make me extra alert. I know it might scare others to see it happening and knowing that is even a stronger argument to not let it happen again.
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After a steep snow section and the last ridge climb we were at the top and we could enjoy a 360 view. Lucky us it was sunny, since we needed to stay there for a while. After the top was an abseil section and we had to go one by one. That took way longer than expected but since the conditions were good, I didn’t feel stressed about it. If somebody told me before that we would have to wait on top of this mountain for 45 minutes, then I would have been stressed about it. That’s a bit how it works in my head.
Abseiling on this height was great fun, since I trusted my guide and the equipment. But after this we still had quite some climbing and hiking ahead before we would be back in the hut. Actually, the original plan was to climb another top. I realized that I was getting tired but I would join if some of my group would want to go for the next climb. Our guide decided for the group that we would shorten the tour. Instead of starting the next climb, we took another abseil section. Afterwards I realized that our guide made that decision for a safety reason and that his experience and ability to assess the situation was important to bring us all down safely. At that moment, I still felt the kick and adrenaline of achieving the top and that didn't make me realize that every step I took, costed more and more energy. Going further would have been above my ability and the ability of others. Back in the hut I realized that I was not yet able to estimate my own limits during this tour. Actually quite frightening but still good to experience in this way. Probably I am only focused on my hands and as long as they are still alive, I don’t see any obstacles. But there is more to focus on.
The last full day was emotionally the heaviest for me. We were about to make a great tour (can’t get enough of that) and we would do some exercises on the ridge and the glacier (that means higher chance on Raynaud attacks). All this thinking about how to keep my hands warm and all the Raynaud attacks I had every day, costed lots of energy. After another long day we were on our way back to the hut but made our last stop for some climbing exercises.
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I already had a few attacks and felt that I was running out of energy. With the hut on crawling
distance I just couldn’t think of anything else than going to the warm place where I could get tea and something to eat. I usually like these technical training sessions very much and I felt sad that I didn’t have the energy to focus on what to do. I also realized how much energy it costed all week to be alert of any danger for my hands and that the fear for getting cold takes away lots of the joy I have. The moment I asked Hans if I could go back to the hut, made me very emotional. On one side it felt like giving up and on the other it felt like taking care of myself. I am kind of fighting against Raynaud and I do not want it to take over my life. I believe, there is so much I can do in the mountains but it would help to accept that I have my boarders and that taking care of them is not a weak thing.
Looking back and ahead
On our last day we had the chance to do some last climbs and abseil exercises before we walked back to Lac de Moiry. We had a last coffee together, said goodbye and after that I took public transport to Sion where I would see Tom again.
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What a week, and what an experience! I'm very grateful to be able to do this and I'm glad I got through the week quite well. I know better where to look at when I’m on a tour and I feel much safer. After this experience I would feel comfortable to prepare the easier alpine tours myself and to do them with Tom, at least if the weather conditions are good enough.
With regard to Raynauds Syndrome, it does give food for thought. The stress that comes with it is really intense. My mountain guide was of course also aware of this and suggested to search for a solution together. Doctors have said so far that there is not much I can do about it but Hans believes there are opportunities in alternative medicine. We are now exploring that together and I would be thrilled if the complaints would even reduce by half. To be continued...
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